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Archive for Short & Sweet

Hey! Moron (yes, you) Go delete your stupid facebook account and get with the goddamned program already!!

Jonas Edward Salk (/sɔːlk/; born Jonas Salk; October 28, 1914 – June 23, 1995) was an American virologist and medical researcher who developed one of the first successful polio vaccines.

What is all this whining about? Roll up your goddamned sleeve and shut the fuck up! You assholes are putting everyone else at risk because you’re too fucking stupid to either die or get vaccinated for Covid-19.

TIP: there is no “belief” in any of this – it’s not religion, it’s SCIENCE. I know you’re all uneducated twats who probably voted for fellow asshole Trump, but REALLY – if you think (DO YOU think? I doubt most of you have the capacity for that) if you think that the rest of us are going to put up with your foolishness much longer, you’re truly more stoopid than you look. WE ARE COMING FOR YOU and I’ll be the first one to volunteer and pin your sorry ass to the floor while we jab that fucking needle in your arm or up your ass! You have no idea just how dumb this entire “argument” has become. SHUT IT !!

“The artwork is that I have taken the money,” artist Jens Haaning

Danish artist Jens Haaning’s unique presentation !
A woman looks at an art installation titled “Take the Money and Run” at the Kunsten Museum of Modern Art, in Aalborg, Denmark

COPENHAGEN (AP) — A Danish artist who was was given money by a museum with which to create artwork, submitted two empty canvases — titled “Take the Money and Run.”

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SCAMMING THE SCAMMERS?!

Join us for a fall-down-funny interview with one of many YouTube channels whose only purpose is to fuck with those pitiful East Indian scum bags who believe their own bullshit and expect westerners to follow…

2021 Winner for BEST UNIBROW!
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Donald’s no longer on Twitter!

Pictured: the outgoing First Lady of the United States of America.

NOW YOU KNOW what was making this boy so batshit krazy!! She was constantly blessed with a headache, gun and jewels – go girl!!

Show my dick on the Internet? Why hell yes man! Adventures in Spam™️

Ever since I received this sexy email, I’ve had a constant hard-on waiting for relief!

Guy with a GIANT COCK!

And so it begins. Ignorant third-world fucks attempt to intimidate the intimidator. Good luck Asshole!

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/anonymous-radio-show/message

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THE POEM about never giving in…

In these trying times, some of you may have been slammed down and maybe u wondered about getting back up. Do get up. ONWARD!

William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Fuckface FINALLY puts it together!

The REAL issue is 250,000 dead Americans!

JUST in time for Christmas, the world has finally received the news that American Tyrant Donny J. Trump has failed in his bid to subvert democracy. This motherfucker! must now vacate the White House “on or before” January 20th, 2021. THERE IS A GOD!!!

Five Parrots were removed from a UK safari park after teaching each other to swear and then laughing about it – those fucking fuckers!!

A group of African gray parrots who were quarantined together at a wildlife park in Lincolnshire, England, taught each other how to swear, Lincolnshire Live reported on Monday.

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Profile:Leprechaun Wtfuckechaun?

A leprechaun (Irish: leipreachán/ luchorpán) is a type of fairy of the Aos Sí in Irish folklore. They are usually depicted as little bearded men, wearing a coat and hat, who partake in mischief. They are solitary creatures who spend their time making and mending shoes and have a hidden pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If captured by a human, they often grant three wishes in exchange for their freedom. Like other Irish fairies, leprechauns may be derived from the Tuatha Dé Danann.[1] Leprechaun-like creatures rarely appear in Irish mythology and only became prominent in later folklore.

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Merry Christmas to all (you too!)

Not EVERYBODY is so lucky…

Depending on your time zone, you may already have had some… Sandwich, Sex, Cookies and maybe even a little Creme… HAVE AT IT IF YOU CAN !!

Santa has come and gone in most parts of the world leaving a wide swath of happiness and good cheer – for some.

The destruction this past week in the Philippines, the angst and anger the Palestinians are feeling, the daily events that occur beyond Christmas cheer leave some people in NO mood to celebrate. How about you?

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The song goes “Peace on Earth” CAN IT BE?

Leave your Comment below.

PS: my only regret this week is not being able to bag the world’s biggest turkey (HINT: Lives in NYC and Washington – baad haircut!) So the only thing in the oven this afternoon will be small children with puppy dogs for dessert!!

We really miss Bill Hicks

  • I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.

DOUBLE TAP: 

  • You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” “How do you know that?” “Uh, well … we looked at the receipts. But as soon as that check clears, we’re goin’ in. What time’s the bank open? Eight? We’re going in at nine. We’re going in for God and country and democracy and here’s a fetus and he’s a Hitler. Whatever you fucking need, let’s go. Get motivated behind this, let’s go!”

The Ogre in Germany

“I love German beer”
“Please shut up”
“Like Carlsberg”
“That’s Danish”
“Heineken”
“Dutch”
“Budweiser”
“Thats you”
“Guinness”
“I hate you”
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Hitler 2.0 or just Donald Fuck?

cob-and-corn
Just trying to decide on the naming convention to use for the next four to eight (fuck noooo!!) years to refer to this complete asshole the amerkins recently elected to office.

Somehow either just doesn`t seem extreme enough. If you`re looking for the definition of the word `terror-ist-a` you will only have to wait until fuckface tightens àmerica’s grip on the world stage. You just KNOW the reason`s he`s sucking Putine`s dick is because THAT asshole is the ONLY other world `leader?`(can I say LEADER and TRUMP in the same sentence without a vomit bag handy?) that won`t use their military muscle as long as Trump remains a capilist pig and keeps wiring the money to Moscow!!

The Chinese may actually bomb his sorry ass and he knows it. Problem with that scenario is those toys at McDonalds will quadruple in price and the profits will plunge. Don`t forget, Donny wants another term…

What more to say? Leave a comment below with your suggestions for naming dickhead and we`ll pick the best from the list.

Vote for your fave by clicking the thumbs up or down and let`s see what we get. I vote shit head! because it can`t be anything other than crap on that guy`s head that did all the damage to his hair like that.

GO!! Patriots

Couple waited nine years to open special wedding present!

the-lovely-couple

Kathy and Brandon Gunn have been married for 9 years, but until recently they still had one unopened wedding present sitting in their closet.

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Afternoon Siesta Anyone?

038744cf153f811f09752f0a551f638c
Woken up tired again? Us too! *yawns * But it turns out there could be a very good reason we always feel zonked, even after getting the golden eight hours. Experts believe that actually sleeping once a day at night isn’t actually beneficial to us. Instead we should hitting the hay twice a day.
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