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Archive for Weird Shit

NEWZ! « This is NOT Amerika®

German Chancellor Angela Merkel and THE REST OF THE WORLD attempt to reason with the spoon-fed U.S. schoolboy. EMBARRASSING!

After 10 years at this, we’re bringing back an oldie but goodie. Starting in October 2018, we will crack open the audio vault and re-release highlights and Newlights of our award-winning series on fucked-up America.

We tried to stay away, but this trump fucker just keeps getting stupider and stupider! In short, there is just TOO MUCH FREE comedy GOLD to resist. This MORON keeps handing out beauties that just beg to be fondled…

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Exposé : What it’s like working at a Gay Bathhouse by “Bob Johnson”

An insider perspective from an employee’s point of view…

To hetero-folks, a bathhouse, at least the gay ones, stand as sketchy monuments to random sex with strangers. And in all honesty, they’re not that wrong.

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Friday the 13th. BIG fucking Deal?

A6CC4367-0949-4F18-9016-D4597EC7B4D7

Soooo… it’s that day again. No, not THAT day (you pervert)  once again, today is supposed to be unlucky!

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HOW TO SHAVE YOUR BALLS

Soooo… I’m UP ! Jeese Louise… can the headline be any more specific?

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Profile:Leprechaun Wtfuckechaun?

A leprechaun (Irish: leipreachán/ luchorpán) is a type of fairy of the Aos Sí in Irish folklore. They are usually depicted as little bearded men, wearing a coat and hat, who partake in mischief. They are solitary creatures who spend their time making and mending shoes and have a hidden pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If captured by a human, they often grant three wishes in exchange for their freedom. Like other Irish fairies, leprechauns may be derived from the Tuatha Dé Danann.[1] Leprechaun-like creatures rarely appear in Irish mythology and only became prominent in later folklore.

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Heeeyyyyyy… Farty Pants!!

Flatulence in the elevator? Take our Quiz! Win a Whoopie Cushion?

When the shit goes down, I usually :

A. Pretend it wasn’t me!

B. Ask someone to open a window?

C. Kill the obvious offender (or the person I find the most offensive)

If someone is convinced it was me :

A. Let out a second blast to confirm and stand my ground while proudly stating “it’s not THAT bad”

B. Strangle my ass by crossing my thighs and hoping for the best !!!!

C. Deny, deny, deny. Lie through my teeth like the guilty motherfucker I am!

To be continued… (as soon as this cloud clears!)

Uphemisms | “De-confliction?

EQ12o

Heard a real zinger on the radio last week. Sure, Pammykins can bitch at me for “non-words” but this one is completely new! THIS IS NOT A FUCKING WORD !!

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