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Archive for Poetry

Heeeyyyyyy… Farty Pants!!

Flatulence in the elevator? Take our Quiz! Win a Whoopie Cushion?

When the shit goes down, I usually :

A. Pretend it wasn’t me!

B. Ask someone to open a window?

C. Kill the obvious offender (or the person I find the most offensive)

If someone is convinced it was me :

A. Let out a second blast to confirm and stand my ground while proudly stating “it’s not THAT bad”

B. Strangle my ass by crossing my thighs and hoping for the best !!!!

C. Deny, deny, deny. Lie through my teeth like the guilty motherfucker I am!

To be continued… (as soon as this cloud clears!)

Real Life Korean Drama?

As we edge closer to the abyss, I thought you might want to see what the poets are doing…

mushroom-cloud

Source: Real Life Korean Drama

Why r u still using a Keyboard?

Time for a new phone. So I asked a friend to let me test drive a **hemorrhoid home** waiting of course for the release of the new iPhone in the fall.

Turns out that Google’s voice typing is funny as hell (**Android phone – although I’m keeping hemorrhoid!!) BUTT (sic) it can hardly be considered an effective dictation recorder.

Anonymous usage report? Gee, thanks Google!! They only gave me three choices…

Intonation choices: Expressive (fuck you Charlie,) somewhat expressive (you Bastardo),  FLAT (politically correct) and off. No REDNECK setting.

STILL on holiday and can hardly wait to get back to The Studios to record more audio gems!! (Join our listener list or look for it here)

At best it’s improved greatly since I last looked at AI and at worse it’s a waste of my time…

The Ogre in Germany

“I love German beer”
“Please shut up”
“Like Carlsberg”
“That’s Danish”
“Heineken”
“Dutch”
“Budweiser”
“Thats you”
“Guinness”
“I hate you”
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I want to assfuck Donald Trump!

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Couple waited nine years to open special wedding present!

the-lovely-couple

Kathy and Brandon Gunn have been married for 9 years, but until recently they still had one unopened wedding present sitting in their closet.

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PROMISE KEEPER | emotion

00x450 Let me tell you what I remember. Gloria screaming like a bitch, “Daddy’s bike! Daddy’s bike!” Read the rest of this entry »

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