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Archive for Poetry

HOW TO SHAVE YOUR BALLS

Soooo… I’m UP ! Jeese Louise… can the headline be any more specific?

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Profile:Leprechaun Wtfuckechaun?

A leprechaun (Irish: leipreachán/ luchorpán) is a type of fairy of the Aos Sí in Irish folklore. They are usually depicted as little bearded men, wearing a coat and hat, who partake in mischief. They are solitary creatures who spend their time making and mending shoes and have a hidden pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If captured by a human, they often grant three wishes in exchange for their freedom. Like other Irish fairies, leprechauns may be derived from the Tuatha Dé Danann.[1] Leprechaun-like creatures rarely appear in Irish mythology and only became prominent in later folklore.

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Heeeyyyyyy… Farty Pants!!

Flatulence in the elevator? Take our Quiz! Win a Whoopie Cushion?

When the shit goes down, I usually :

A. Pretend it wasn’t me!

B. Ask someone to open a window?

C. Kill the obvious offender (or the person I find the most offensive)

If someone is convinced it was me :

A. Let out a second blast to confirm and stand my ground while proudly stating “it’s not THAT bad”

B. Strangle my ass by crossing my thighs and hoping for the best !!!!

C. Deny, deny, deny. Lie through my teeth like the guilty motherfucker I am!

To be continued… (as soon as this cloud clears!)

Real Life Korean Drama?

As we edge closer to the abyss, I thought you might want to see what the poets are doing…

mushroom-cloud

Source: Real Life Korean Drama

Why r u still using a Keyboard?

Time for a new phone. So I asked a friend to let me test drive a **hemorrhoid home** waiting of course for the release of the new iPhone in the fall.

Turns out that Google’s voice typing is funny as hell (**Android phone – although I’m keeping hemorrhoid!!) BUTT (sic) it can hardly be considered an effective dictation recorder.

Anonymous usage report? Gee, thanks Google!! They only gave me three choices…

Intonation choices: Expressive (fuck you Charlie,) somewhat expressive (you Bastardo),  FLAT (politically correct) and off. No REDNECK setting.

STILL on holiday and can hardly wait to get back to The Studios to record more audio gems!! (Join our listener list or look for it here)

At best it’s improved greatly since I last looked at AI and at worse it’s a waste of my time…

The Ogre in Germany

“I love German beer”
“Please shut up”
“Like Carlsberg”
“That’s Danish”
“Heineken”
“Dutch”
“Budweiser”
“Thats you”
“Guinness”
“I hate you”
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I want to assfuck Donald Trump!

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