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Archive for Crap

Friday the 13th. BIG fucking Deal?

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Soooo… it’s that day again. No, not THAT day (you pervert)  once again, today is supposed to be unlucky!

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Happy FAT New Year?

IMG_0115Yep – it’s the same old shit again. The “New” Year is here!

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Heeeyyyyyy… Farty Pants!!

Flatulence in the elevator? Take our Quiz! Win a Whoopie Cushion?

When the shit goes down, I usually :

A. Pretend it wasn’t me!

B. Ask someone to open a window?

C. Kill the obvious offender (or the person I find the most offensive)

If someone is convinced it was me :

A. Let out a second blast to confirm and stand my ground while proudly stating “it’s not THAT bad”

B. Strangle my ass by crossing my thighs and hoping for the best !!!!

C. Deny, deny, deny. Lie through my teeth like the guilty motherfucker I am!

To be continued… (as soon as this cloud clears!)

I want to assfuck Donald Trump!

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“The average American watches 30 hours of TV a week…THAT is what makes them average!”- Mr. Anonymous®

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Really hate to add to the stack of shit that’s been passing for News this past month, but I gots-ta-say-it – ENOUGH! with the fucking “coverage” of his Royal Assclown – Da Donald Duck Fuck. Duh.
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Afternoon Siesta Anyone?

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Woken up tired again? Us too! *yawns * But it turns out there could be a very good reason we always feel zonked, even after getting the golden eight hours. Experts believe that actually sleeping once a day at night isn’t actually beneficial to us. Instead we should hitting the hay twice a day.
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Narcissist? Clown? or Both

GOP

Hey REDNECKS – Dump Trump before you wake up and find out he sold your farm while you was sleepin’! We both know you ain’t got no educachun – but do you really have to prove you’re (downright) fuckng STOOPID? America is going to destroy itself without any terrorists needed – FEAR is all it takes.

Vote for the woman, morons (she’s the one with the tits an cigar-fucking husband from wayback, remember?) Put down yer gun(s) and pick up a fucking pencil for once!

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