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Archive for Short & Shallow

Merry Christmas to all (you too!)

Not EVERYBODY is so lucky…

Depending on your time zone, you may already have had some… Sandwich, Sex, Cookies and maybe even a little Creme… HAVE AT IT IF YOU CAN !!

Santa has come and gone in most parts of the world leaving a wide swath of happiness and good cheer – for some.

The destruction this past week in the Philippines, the angst and anger the Palestinians are feeling, the daily events that occur beyond Christmas cheer leave some people in NO mood to celebrate. How about you?

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The song goes “Peace on Earth” CAN IT BE?

Leave your Comment below.

PS: my only regret this week is not being able to bag the world’s biggest turkey (HINT: Lives in NYC and Washington – baad haircut!) So the only thing in the oven this afternoon will be small children with puppy dogs for dessert!!

Heeeyyyyyy… Farty Pants!!

Flatulence in the elevator? Take our Quiz! Win a Whoopie Cushion?

When the shit goes down, I usually :

A. Pretend it wasn’t me!

B. Ask someone to open a window?

C. Kill the obvious offender (or the person I find the most offensive)

If someone is convinced it was me :

A. Let out a second blast to confirm and stand my ground while proudly stating “it’s not THAT bad”

B. Strangle my ass by crossing my thighs and hoping for the best !!!!

C. Deny, deny, deny. Lie through my teeth like the guilty motherfucker I am!

To be continued… (as soon as this cloud clears!)

Happy Fucking New Year?

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Season’s Greetings to everybody! We hope you’ve spent a wonderful time with your beloved ones. Read the rest of this entry »

Narcissist? Clown? or Both

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Hey REDNECKS – Dump Trump before you wake up and find out he sold your farm while you was sleepin’! We both know you ain’t got no educachun – but do you really have to prove you’re (downright) fuckng STOOPID? America is going to destroy itself without any terrorists needed – FEAR is all it takes.

Vote for the woman, morons (she’s the one with the tits an cigar-fucking husband from wayback, remember?) Put down yer gun(s) and pick up a fucking pencil for once!

PROMISE KEEPER | emotion

00x450 Let me tell you what I remember. Gloria screaming like a bitch, “Daddy’s bike! Daddy’s bike!” Read the rest of this entry »

STRESS BUSTERS | How-to Tips

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Whether you’re pulling your hair out over finals, your mom’s incessant phone calls or the fact that your roommate refuses to use ear buds while you’re studying, it’s easy to lose your cool. We have all been there. However, there are many healthy ways to deal with college stressors in healthy ways. For the purpose of this blog, I did some research on stress relief and would love nothing more than to share my findings with you Read the rest of this entry »

WHY is this stoopid fuck still in the running for prez?

So i zip across the pond for Paris in the Spring – fly back 10 days later and ol’ pecker-head STILL hasn’t been neutered? SERIOUSLY – the clown show is over America.

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STOP fucking around! Obama is leaving and ain’t coming back. “People get ready” is not just a great lyric, now IS the time to pick up the pieces and start to restore your country to it’s former glory. Hilary’s your best bet – Trump, not so much.

WAKE UP!

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