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Heeeyyyyyy… Farty Pants!!

Flatulence in the elevator? Take our Quiz! Win a Whoopie Cushion?

When the shit goes down, I usually :

A. Pretend it wasn’t me!

B. Ask someone to open a window?

C. Kill the obvious offender (or the person I find the most offensive)

If someone is convinced it was me :

A. Let out a second blast to confirm and stand my ground while proudly stating “it’s not THAT bad”

B. Strangle my ass by crossing my thighs and hoping for the best !!!!

C. Deny, deny, deny. Lie through my teeth like the guilty motherfucker I am!

To be continued… (as soon as this cloud clears!)

I want to assfuck Donald Trump!

1200
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Afternoon Siesta Anyone?

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Woken up tired again? Us too! *yawns * But it turns out there could be a very good reason we always feel zonked, even after getting the golden eight hours. Experts believe that actually sleeping once a day at night isn’t actually beneficial to us. Instead we should hitting the hay twice a day.
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Scenes of a Small Town

Chesaning

Showboat City   Antiquated town– Obsolete?  Old wooden sign posts Name our streets. The park has marble for the brave– Thank you all for the lives you gave. This is the sidewalk, A…

Source: Scenes of a Small Town

Whew!, I’m Pooped.

English: Cardinal Jorge M. Bergoglio SJ, Archb...

English: Cardinal Jorge M. Bergoglio SJ, Archbishop of Buenos Aires, celebrating mass at the XX Exposición del Libro Católico (20th Catholic Book Fair), in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Español: Cardenal Jorge M. Bergoglio SJ, Arzobispo de Buenos Aires, celebrando misa en la XX Exposición del Libro Católico, en Buenos Aires, Argentina. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It's fucking RAINING and I can damn well watch TV at the HOTEL!!

It’s fucking RAINING and I can damn well watch TV at the CONVENT! – WTF people!

Er, should I say POped. After months in Italia, our extended stay has come to an end with a crowning of sorts – the 1.5 Billion Catholics around the world seemed to surround us as we attended (in the rain no less) the Vatican’s Pope Show, waiting intently for that wisp of white smoke – siganlling the Cardinals have successfully elected the next Pope.

He is (Hmmm… no women, eh?) Bueno Aires Bishop, Jorge Bergoglio (see our Twitter feed) and he has teken the names Pope Francis the 1st after St. Francis of Assissi. I see the people sround us going apeshit and one almost made me drop this phone. Gotta get the hell out of here and back to the vino to celebrate – wish me luck making it to the other side of the square 🙂

See you back on the air on April 1st. Can’t wait – it’s time to speak fucking ENGLISH once more !!

A Match Made in Heaven?

Godsmatch
Last year was a bitch. So were most of the women i dated. This NEW year, i have found a NEW site that promises to have everything a good Christian Nun could hope for – matchmaking by none other than the Man upstairs!! Read the rest of this entry »

The Apocalypse is near (hic)

According to Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, the Mayans were right and the apocalypse is near. Read the rest of this entry »

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