You can’t make this shit up!!

August 4, 2009 at 12:00 am · Filed under American Capitalism, Assclowns, BEST of the Web, Celebrities, Consumption, Crap, Dug Up, Freedom of Speech, Fucktards™, Game Play, Genetic Modification, Humor Me, LOW Tech, Mother's Day, Musicians, Queer, Sad Newz, Short & Shallow, Strange News, Toonz, U.S.A., Weird Shit and tagged: $$Ka-Ching!!$$, Creepy, Disgusting, Pedophile DNA

Michael?

LifeGEM®, a U.S. company, says it has obtained a lock of Michael Jackson’s hair, which it will convert into diamonds to sell you!

The company’s process – intense pressure and heat, recreating nature’s diamond – has already been used to convert organic matter from “regular” deceased people into souvenirs for surviving kinfolk for $ 4,000. US or more per diamond.

LifeGem says it got the hair from the producer of that 1984 Pepsi commercial filmed when Jacko’s hair caught on fire.

“We are currently evaluating Jackson’s hair sample to determine how many diamonds can be created. This will be a limited collection and we anticipate great interest,” said LifeGem founder Dean VandenBiesen.

TRANSLATION: $$Ka-Ching!!$$

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