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Are you opposed to anal beads?

Are any of you fully and truly aware of the incredible suction power the asshole possesses?

Do you realize that the intestinal walls do not register pain? It is for these reasons that great care must be practiced when using anal beads or any other sex toys that you, for some inexplicable reason, feel the need to ram up your ass.

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I’m serious, dude.  I once thought that I lost my cobalt blue anal beads inside my ass cavity after a very dirty, very experimental weekend with a virtual stranger I had met online just three months prior to our tryst.  At that particular point in time, I was totally unaware that my intestines would not be able to feel a Goddamn thing in regards to pain, so naturally, I assumed that had my beads become lodged inside of my fucking body, I would know it straight away.

Thank fuck, I found the damn beads in my suit case after I had returned to the homestead.  Can you imagine the humiliation I would have felt had I been required to visit the fucking hospital for the surgical removal of cobalt blue, semi-rigid anal beads???

Although I was in no danger, as I had ultimately discovered, the incident scared me straight.  I no longer use my cobalt blue anal beads for the indirect stimulation of my vagina.  I use the red ones.

180px-analbeads

1 Comment»

  Drew G wrote @

Hilarious post as usual. Glad to hear you avoided a trip to the emergency room.


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