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irvine, california. may 22nd 2008

i piss at work behind the trailers in the weeds. they are stubbles of weeds now, having been mowed or shredded. i piss in the stubble away from cameras hopefully. my boss is a female. i can hear her now
“you call that a dick?”
anyway there is a culture a primitive land out there. i’ve had a long standing admiration for crows for quite some time. then there was this:
i saw a crow. two sparrows were pestering the crow. i looked closer and saw that the crow had a baby sparrow clutched in one (talon?).
the crow hopped around and the sparrows left. the baby sparrow in the talon fluttered its wings. the crow pecked it hard in the head (maybe the eyeballs) twice and it fluttered more.
|  i internalized the horror of the sparrow for a moment. i do that. i dont know if its a curse or a gift. maybe sparrows dont have horror.
the next day i was pissing behind a trailer, and a white butterfly with black dots frolicked briefly…briefly before a sparrow swooped in and rendered the white butterfly. rendered it. there was just butterfly dust left wafting into the stubble. i did not internalize any horror.
today i pissed and watched a spider moving to and fro in the web in the stubble.

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