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As a whole, the human race sucks ass.

pammy

Pammy

Due to the fast approaching holiday season, I’d like to share something with my readers that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside…

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There lives, nearly one mile south of my homestead, a young man, fair of eyes, hair and flesh.

He is a smoker, and judging by his mannerisms and the fashion in which he carries himself whilst listening to his iPod, he likes heavy metal and hip-hop music.  He often wears a light blue baseball cap; some days his hat sits firmly backwards atop his head, and other days the brim faces forward, slightly skewed to the right.  His blue jeans are terribly baggy, but the style suits him well.  Whenever I see him, I make a mental note about the pristine condition of his white shoes.  How does he keep his footwear so fucking white?!

I see this young man on a fairly daily basis during the warmer months, for he seems to be quite fond of the intersection that I frequently pass on my way into town.  He will stand on the corner for hours, all alone, passing his time by waving at strangers, smoking his cigarettes and listening to his music.  He always stands on the west side of the road.  Throughout the four years that I have shared his neighborhood, I have never witnessed him crossing the road, nor have I seen evidence of his crossing the road.  I know he must cross it at some point during his solitary day because like mine, his house is on the east side of the road.

ConverseThere are days when I find myself wishing that I could catch him in the midst of crossing that damn road.  I don’t know why.  Perhaps I want to find out if he looks different on the east side of the road.  Perhaps I want to wave at him with my left hand, rather than my right, when I am driving to town and wave with my right when I am returning home.

We always wave to one another.  I wave with an open palm and fully spread fingers, much like an excited five year old, while he flicks his wrist and sort of points with two fingers.  Often times, he will throw in the head nod that says, “Yes, I am acknowledging your existence.”  I like the head nod.  It suits him well.

Over the years, I have grown fond of this kid, or in the very least, his kind gestures.  Through mere observation, I have learned some things about him, yet I do not know his name.

I do, however, know that he brings a smile to my face.

I now truly believe that even through casual encounters, it is possible to profoundly affect the life of another human being in a positive way.light-blue-baseball-cap

As a child, I was told to “always be kind to others because one never knows” (how one’s actions are going to influence another person).  I could point out that the upcoming holiday season will be fast upon us and because of that fact, I think we all should make a real effort to act like compassionate human beings.  But, I am not going to make that point because I’m not the fucking ‘Salvation Army.’

My point is that human beings, generally speaking, can be fucking assholes, no matter the time, month or season.  Pressure to act like “genuine, decent, caring, compassionate people” is put on us during the holiday season at the very same time that the gross commercialization of the fucking holiday season tells us all to “Hurry!  Hurry! Hurry!”  “Buy this, buy that.”  “Do whatever you have to.  Wake up at 2 o’ clock in the fucking morning to beat your neighbors to the electronic store.  Knock down an old woman and step on children if you need to.  Just snag that perfect gift because God knows if you don’t, you’re going to burn in hell!”  And all the while, some poor sucker dressed as fucking Santa Claus is hanging out in sub zero temperatures, ringing his tiny bell outside of fucking K-Mart or some other shit store equivalent.

Thank the Lawdy Lawd that appealing to the emotion of the masses during the holiday season actually works, despite the scheming of the evil empire that is retail.  It’s just a shame that people are not so inclined to show kindness throughout the entire year.  I think the only organization that runs year round public ads in regards to being a nice guy are those ‘Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints’ people.  The fact that we need ads to raise awareness about the lack of human decency is pathetic. Morons. Then again, when you look at our history as a human race, it’s pretty pathetic, too.  Thanks Hitler, Mr. Stalin, and the lot of you.

Listen up, all of you who are deficient in the random acts of kindness department; hang your heads in shame.

You’re getting coal this Christmas.

[Ed. the Pamster isn’t REALLY going to fuck you over this Christmas… it’s JUST a written piece… isn’t it?]

SEASONS GREETINGS

4 Comments»

  Matt Hanson wrote @

Good writing. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader.

  Polythene Pam wrote @

Holy crap! Thank you!

  Heidi wrote @

I love your article! So true!!! I think the human race sucks and Christmas is nothing more than a merchant’s holiday. I don’t pretend to be nice anymore. I’m sick of living and hate people, and have no intention of hiding it anymore.

  Mr. Anonymous® wrote @

GO HEIDI !


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