Anonymous® Radio Show

The Internet's Premier LIVE Programme™

JUNO online services are the fucking DEVIL!

Devilled PamDear JUNO online service fuckheads:

Thanks to your UNstellar company, which, (based on every fucking representative I have had the extreme displeasure of conversing with), I can only assume is being managed by mentally challenged Vietnamese jungle folk, I have a total of $119.fucking80 charged to my checking account.

Being that I cancelled your services in the winter of ’07 and upgraded to the richie internet, I do not need to waste my brain cells contemplating whether or not these charges are legit.

As a very dissatisfied, very fucking angry former user of your fucking craptacular dial-up online services, I’d like to make a few suggestions that I strongly feel will improve the relationship you have with those customers who are fucking stupid enough to continue using JUNO fucking dial-up online fucking services as their online (FUCKING) service provider.

Suggestion numero uno: Please perform speech tests on prospective customer service representatives.  Call me fucking crazy, but it seems to me that if one is going to be getting fucking paid to converse with those who speak fluent fucking English, than one must also fluently “speaka da English!”  Fuck!  You don’t see me waltzing into some fucking company requesting a fucking job as a customer service representative who will primarily be speaking to fucking Russians or some shit.  Why???  Because I don’t speak fucking Russian!

Suggestion numero dos: Terminate any customer service representative that replaces the letter fucking R with the letter fucking L when speaking.

Suggestion numero tres: Inform your fucking employees to actually PROCESS cancellation requests in order to avoid receiving irate phone calls from fucking mad women who have absolutely no reservations about setting your face on fire.

Suggestion numero quatro: Just set your own fucking face on fire. And the entire office building.  And every other building that JUNO works out of.  Just fuck off and go to hell.  But not before you reimfuckingburse me the $119.fucking80 that was wrongfully withdrawn from my bank account.

* I am not a racist.  I swear.

[Ed. FUCKERZ !]

No comments yet»

Join the conversation :

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: