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Halloween: A History Lesson

The origins of Halloween date back to the pagan Celtic Festival of Samhain, which marked the beginning of winter, the season associated with death. On October 31, it was believed that the dead returned to the Earth in spirit form. Ooooooo…Spooky.

Ancient Celts residing in modern-day Ireland, Scotland, Britain and northern France traditionally lit massive bonfires and burned their crops and sacrificed animals in efforts to ward of those spirits of evil disposition.

Celts would attend these sacred bonfires dressed in costumes fashioned from animal heads and skins. (Our present day masks!)

Eww.

At the conclusion of the celebration the Celtic people used the bonfire to light their hearths. By doing so, the Celts ensured that they would be protected from the brutal winter months. ( I wonder how many years they suffered this paranoia before they realized that they weren’t being protected from jack-shit? )

As Christianity began to encompass 7th century Ireland, Pope Boniface IV moved All Saints Day, or All Hallows Day, to November 1 so that Halloween would be interpreted as a Christian practice.

The word, “Halloween” is derived from the Catholic Church term (big surprise!), “All Hallows Eve,” which fell on the night before “All Saints Day,” the Catholic holiday that honors the religion’s saints and martyrs.

Eventually, European settlers brought their Halloween traditions to North America.

Condemned by some churches, holy rolling fuckwits often associate Halloween with the occult. These assholes won’t allow their children the pleasure of dressing up and begging strangers for candy-something about Halloween being a satanic holiday… ?

“Meh! Gimme some fuckin’ candy!”

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