a call from an old friend

October 27, 2008 at 12:01 am · Filed under Commie Bastards, Fundies, Humor Me, U.S.A. and tagged: JESUS FREAKS, jesus saves, Liver Spotz

he said i never was his friend. no one from the tenth grade had treated him well. he was in the lifeboat that jesus provided. he was selling something. my liver has seven pockets that contain dead parasites and i need epsom salt and olive oil and grapefruit juice and i will poop pellets from my liver and i will live longer and his diabetes went away. i told him i was a confirmed athiest.

confirmed. i went to athiest class the way some folks take karate. his giggle had a hysterical quality and we said goodbye. he just wanted me to understand that he knew we were never really friends and that jesus would save me and that i needed to join the radio shack club that would dissolve the parasites in my liver.
jesus help me. i never knew.

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