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Andrea Answers™ : HELP! – My wife is hurting me…

This Week’s QUESTION:

My wife and I have been married for a few years now and we have a really good relationship. We love each other very much and the sex is great. The only issue I have with her is when we argue she tends to get a little passionate. Usually it’s a slap or a punch during our fights but lately things seem to be escalating.

Within the last year she has blackened my eye twice, bent my finger back so far she broke it, knocked out two of my teeth, and the last fight we had she actually kicked me in the privates.

Can you give me any advice on how to calm her down?Jake in Miami


Sure can Jake. One bullet. Right between the eyes. Beats a Valium any day of the week!

Just make sure the next time you fight you move it into a room with bad carpeting. That way when you knock her off you won’t have to worry about cleaning the bloodstain, and the old carpet will make a handy dandy carrying case for you when you lug her body over to the landfill. My advice is to go with hardwood as your flooring replacement. Vacuuming is such a chore and wood floors are so much easier to keep clean these days with the invention of that Swiffer gadget.

(By the way, it sounds like your privates caught a Greyhound bus out of town a while ago. You should pray they bought a round trip ticket.)


Andrea Walker

Ask your dating related question in the form below. I promise i will get back to you as soon as possible!”


Andrea Walker’s first book serves as an hysterical and outrageous account of un-ordinary events inside the dating world. If you too feel like you can’t find just one normal person to date out there, then we recommend you order her book and discover that you are not alone!

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