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PAM WILL WORK FOR BEER!

Summer break has officially arrived in the Magical Land of Pam.

Being that I am a seasonal employee for the district, I do not have to step foot inside the middle school, or any other school for that matter, until the far off month of September.

Words cannot describe the elation I feel, knowing that I will not have to wake up at 6 o’fucking clock in the morning or shout at pissy pants middle schoolers to the point that I develop a raw, bleeding throat.  However, I am quite certain that after a mere two weeks have passed, I will be wishing for the fast approach of September.

Summer break is one of those things that sounds good, or looks good on paper, but in reality, summer break fucking blows.  Summer break means that Pammy ain’t gots no income of her own for an earth shattering 16 fucking weeks, which in turn, basically means that Pammy is reduced to asking Mr. Pammy, the King Fuck Of All Tight Asses, for money.

Just as a child begs for a fucking buck so they can buy one of those shitty quality ice cream bars that come in the fun shape of Sponge Bob Square Pants (Complete with fucking bubble gum eyeballs!!!) from the scary ass ice cream truck, Pammy must beg for spare change in efforts to support her beer habit.

Aside from the Michigan Renaissance Festival, I don’t participate in much of anything that costs money… unless it involves beer.  I will always find me some fucking money when beer is thrown into the mix.  Beer makes nearly everything fun, or at the very least, tolerable.  And believe me, folks, I will need a lot of tolerance this summer.  I have composited a short list of things I can do over the summer holiday, but will require mucho cerveza to do them.

1.  Get out of bed: I have always loved to sleep in.  There is only one thing I love more than slee…there are only two things I love more than sleeping in, one of them being an obscenely expensive, prissy bitch beer.

That is all.

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