Archive for Shit
June 22, 2008
Religion and Shit
Taoism: Shit happens.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Buddhism: It is only the illusion of shit happening.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Jehovah’s Witness: Knock knock. Shit happens.
Atheism: There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism: Mabe shit happens – and maybe it doesn’t.
Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you.
Rastafarianism: Smoke that shit.
Unitarianism: Who gives a shit!
A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: ‘USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!’
She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: ‘USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!’
The Chinese laundry man became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM: ‘I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTY!!! YOU USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!’
DO NOT ZOOM !!!
(and if you think the above is gross, you ain’t seen below! – and we HIGHLY recommend you DON’T!)