Archive for alcoholism
March 2, 2010 at 12:33 am · Filed under Death Penalty, DrugZ®, Educational, Feedback, Guest Author, Health & Wellness, LOW Tech, Musings™, Personal Growth, Poetry, SHOCKED & AWED and tagged: Alcohol, alcoholism, antidepressants, Love, Masturbation, mental illness, new beginnings, oblivion, secrets
my knees hurt. the arthritis foundation wants money. the surgeons. recommend i get a new job.
my doctor recommends i go back to work.
i cant walk around the block.
one morning
my knees hurt
dreadful
my moans dont wake the wife
i call the mental health clinic
its too early
i push 1..1 is the suicide button
the rest is a blur
i am in my first psychiatric ward
i cry cry cry
i cant see thru the tears
5 days 5 days 5 days
what happened to 72 hour observation?
i make friend. i love mentally ill people.
i demand to be released when a homicidal maniac enters the ward and takes my room
i have to share a room with an apnea blast furnace
i demand freedom.
i wind up in the senior ward and i am medicated enough to hijack karaoke night for two hours.
i am singing ” white wedding” by billy idol when they pull the plug.
retreat to my room with diaper man and a great wall of concrete feces
all the smells the accompany white wedding diaper blocks of the great block of the senior ward and a mattress that smells like urine.
i’m not bagging on seniors. one day i hope to make a psychiatric ward smell that way.
the next day i demand to see the authorities and they are dismayed by the way i can weave facts and fiction into the kinds of headlines the might snatch some attention.
i am returned to the ward from which i came.
the whole ordeal was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.
i need pills and booze and i am much better at talking the talk with mental patients that i meet here and there.
i have a new audience.
of course this is an outline
a sketch from the bracelet makers everywhere
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May 25, 2009 at 12:00 am · Filed under Consumption, DrugZ®, Feedback, Game Play, Genetic Modification, Guest Author, Healthy Living, Lifes' like That, LOW Tech, Musings™, Personal Growth, Religion, U.S.A. and tagged: alcoholism, God, higher power, nature

memorial day part deux.
i started drinking again last memorial day. i stopped yesterday (this memorial day).
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May 5, 2009 at 12:00 am · Filed under Guest Author and tagged: alcoholism
i’m sorry
14, 2009
but you were in a movie
that was about drunks
that was in la
your sponsor was a long tak=lker
a nine minute speaker meeting
the most important person in the room
the most i,mportant
personality
in the
room Read the rest of this entry »
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February 6, 2009 at 12:36 am · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: alcoholism, antidepressants, ass fiction, crank, flashlights, valium
yeah, that’s right. a crank flashlight.
if you happen to live in a meth mega-center, a crank flashlight might sound like a flashlight that a tweaker must carry to look for things in the night.
things that go bump in the night. like a face. looking through binoculars and what do i see? other binoculars looking back at me.
i quit speed over ? years ago. its my little secret.
but valiums………….now that’s another story. Read the rest of this entry »
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December 22, 2008 at 12:01 am · Filed under Consumption, DrugZ®, Educational, Feedback, Game Play, Healthy Living, LOW Tech, Man-on-the-Street™, Poetry and tagged: alcoholism, drinking, drunk, relapse
its kinda like what they say. 1 drink and then its ticking like the telltale heart. the bottle on top of the fridge. i tend the garden on a gift of a day off and my wife comes home from work expecting a corpse on the couch.
i used thick branches to border my beans. its very artistic.
i’m awake and she’s happy. i enjoyed 2 ounces of jim beam while i sweated the new but familiar alcoholic sweat. i moved dirt, weeded, created borders and mowed the front yard.
the funny thing is the day after drinking. the tailgaiters arent so close. the buttwads just ruin their own lives, my iq drops and my insight wanes.
bruce cockburn articulated it well…. the clarity of light, vs. the charity of night. its a barnburner, and for years i supported the clarity of light.
it wanes like the moon. right now its the charity of night. my wife went to bed angry. dont they all eventually. its my shit now.
i’ve seen too much. its my shit now.
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